Following the end of a relationship, Darren entered a new relationship with another man. While the relationship began positively, it quickly became abusive.
Darren, a man in his forties, self-referred to Aura after being advised by local Housing Services to seek specialist support. He had not been offered domestic abuse support when initially engaging with the police.
Darren is employed as a senior manager with a large corporate organisation. Following the end of a 20-year relationship, during which he and his former partner adopted a son, he entered a new relationship with another man. While the relationship began positively, it quickly became abusive.
Over a period of two and a half years, Darren experienced physical violence, coercive control, emotional abuse, humiliation, and sexually degrading comments and demands. The abuse had a significant impact on his emotional wellbeing, confidence, and sense of safety.
A major barrier to leaving the relationship was housing. Darren lived in a private tenancy owned by the perpetrator's sister, creating additional complications around both accommodation and personal safety.
Eventually, Darren reported the abuse to the police and provided a full statement. Through this process, he learned that the perpetrator had a history of abusive behaviour in previous relationships.
While waiting for the court case to conclude, Darren continued to experience harassment. The perpetrator used social media and dating app content to intimidate and humiliate him, sending screenshots and sexually explicit material intended to cause distress and undermine his confidence.
Darren felt unable to disclose much of this ongoing abuse due to embarrassment, fear of repercussions, and concerns about how he would be perceived as a male victim. Although he was initially too frightened to provide a statement, his injuries were visible and criminal proceedings were initiated. Darren was subsequently treated as a vulnerable witness throughout the court process.
Darren and his Aura support worker met regularly within the local community. A holistic support plan was developed to address both immediate safety concerns and longer-term stability.
Support included:
Throughout the process, emotional support was provided to help Darren navigate the impact of abuse, criminal proceedings, housing uncertainty, and concerns for his son.
"I was not aware that there was a service for men like me but [Aura support worker] offered a listening ear, a wealth of information on local services and I feel extremely grateful that the Housing officer referred me. I was embarrassed and had deep shame for my situation. But working with Aura restored my faith in humanity and the Aura service really does go above and beyond to support victims."
During his support journey, Darren explored options for financial assistance through the Scottish Government's Fund to Leave, which is administered through Scottish Women's Aid to support women leaving abusive relationships.
As a male survivor, Darren was not eligible for the fund. This highlighted a significant gap in available support and led him to raise concerns about access to practical financial assistance for men experiencing domestic abuse.
Feeling strongly that support should be available based on need rather than gender, Darren contacted his elected representatives to advocate for greater inclusivity in domestic abuse funding and services. He requested anonymity throughout this process to protect both his family's privacy and his professional reputation.
In March, the criminal case concluded with the perpetrator receiving an 18-month supervision order alongside community service requirements.
Darren secured additional time in his tenancy, reducing immediate housing pressures while awaiting a suitable offer of permanent accommodation. He continues to engage positively with support services and has developed greater confidence in navigating the systems available to him.
Although challenges remain around housing, Darren reports feeling safer, more informed, and better equipped to rebuild his life following abuse.
His experience has also highlighted the importance of recognising and responding to the needs of male survivors of domestic abuse, particularly those facing barriers related to stigma, disclosure, and access to specialist support.
Darren has been encouraged to participate in Aura's Voice Group and other consultation opportunities, where his lived experience can help inform future service development and improve support pathways for male survivors. His journey demonstrates the importance of accessible, inclusive domestic abuse services that provide both practical assistance and emotional support.